Bigg Boss OTT fame Urfi Javed is currently making heads turn with her fashion choices. The actress, who has been in the industry for some time now has seen many ups and downs in her life. Urfi for the time time opens about her life never before. She joined ETimes TV for our exclusive segment, Tellyblazer and poured her heart out about the difficulties she faced in her life. The Meri Durga actress ran from her home to get freedom as she lived in a conservative family and was not allowed to do anything of her choice. Urfi, who has been a part of several popular shows, was many times replaced overnight and faced a lot of rejections. She also talked about the dark phase of her life when she was suicidal and was conned by a Producer who forced her to do explicit scenes by threatening to send her to jail.
How has life changed for you after participating in Bigg Boss OTT?
Life has been pretty much the same. But when I look back and observe things, I feel it has changed a bit in the last 2 years. If you ask me what changes I feel in myself, I would say I’ve become more confident. Bigg Boss OTT even in that one week gave me a lot of confidence. For some reason, I am not scared of anything or anyone. You can troll me, write negative comments, you can do whatever you want but I will be unaffected. I’ll still be the same as I am. Yes, Bigg Boss OTT gave me a lot of eyeballs but I don’t think industry wise anything has changed for me. A lot of people have got to know about me, but they know Urfi Javed as someone who wears weird clothes and let’s troll her for it. I am just keeping people busy. These trolls do not bother me. I don’t get affected at all. Why would I bother if someone’s aunt, uncle, mummy, papa, bahu or relative has something to say about it.
But do you feel proud of yourself when you receive so much love?
There is a very small portion but there are people who loved me and my journey in Bigg Boss OTT. And the people who don’t like me even if they ever meet me, I know they will never abuse me on my face, they will ask for a selfie or autograph. Like for example now people are trolling Shah Rukh Khan but once he is in front of them they will run for a selfie. People who are telling him Tera beta ye Woh, they will be the same ones standing for a selfie. They won’t have the guts to say these things in front of him. Similarly, if I keep caring about what they have to say, how will I reach where I want to reach?
You ran away from your home at a very young age? When you look back now, what do you have to say about your journey?
I did not have an option but to leave my house at a young age. If I would have had an option, I would not have run away from my home. I would have enjoyed my father’s money. Main apne papa ke paise udaa rahi hoti agar mere paas option hota toh… the only option left with me was to be courageous and be earned. Whatever I could do was because of my situation. Who wouldn’t want to sit at home and enjoy, but I did not have that privilege. All my years so far have gone into survival. Whatever jobs small, big I got I had to just do them to survive because I didn’t have money. I haven’t achieved anything yet, there is a long way to go. I am at a point in life where I am moving in that direction where I am going to do the work that I want to do.
You had a troubled childhood, what kept you going?
Trust me when I say this, not just me, a lot of kids in India have a worse childhood than me. I would still say I got a chance to go to a very good school and get myself educated, I got a chance to run away from my home. Not everyone gets these opportunities. There are so many girls who are killed before they are born, girls don’t get educated, or get forcefully married at a young age. I won’t say I have been a victim and all because when I see others sufferings, I feel my suffering is very small in front of them.
Why did you decide to leave your house? What made you take this decision?
I want to be an inspiration for young girls out when they are told khana banana sikhlo shaadi ke baad Sasural mein kya hoga, aap ko Aise rehna chahiye Waise rehna chahiye.. I want them to tell their parents that they saw that actress Urfi Javed. I want to live my life like her. I was a girl who was told that girls should not have their voice. I was from a conservative Muslim family where they only think about their daughters getting married. I was not supposed to talk in front of males and had to wear only full clothes, totally covered from head to toe. All these thoughts made me a rebel. I became a rebel because I was suppressed a lot and was not allowed anything except for education. When I was a kid I didn't know what childhood or freedom was. I badly wanted to feel and taste freedom. Even right now if I have to choose between money and freedom I would choose freedom.
Didn't you ever fear how you would survive in the outside world without any support?
Till date I fear this that I don’t have anyone’s support. I literally had no male influence in my life to whom I could look up to like a father figure or someone. But when I left my home the only thing that mattered to me was leaving my home and feeling the freedom. I think I was enjoying the freedom that I had got and somehow that fear vanished. I was so excited to have finally gotten a chance to go out and do things that I want to. Until the time I did not leave my house, I wasn’t aware that girls can actually go out after 5 PM. I didn’t know I could go out for dinner, lunch and wear the clothes that I want. I was enjoying the freedom that I had finally got rather than fearing. It was when I came to Mumbai when I started worrying about things like how will I survive, I don’t have money.
Did you become an actress out of choice or was it because of financial reasons?
I wanted to be an actress since I was very young but since I belonged to such a conservative family, I knew this is just a dream and can never come true. But when I left my house I realised I can do it. Somewhere it was also because of financial reasons that I became an actress. Because I was earning more here than my regular job. But I will also say that I haven’t done anything great till now as far as acting is concerned. I believe I am a good actor and I am waiting for an opportunity. I am very hardworking and can do anything for a good role. I really want a chance to prove my worth.
What kind of challenges did you face in the beginning of your career especially when you had no contacts in the industry? Did you face rejections?
I am still facing rejection and I still get rejected. I’ve been replaced a lot even after I’ve reached the set of a TV show. There have been times when I have been told after the first scene that I have been replaced. I would tell them to at least let me perform, but then there is internal politics. Initially, I would blame myself for the rejections but I slowly understood that not everything is meant for me. I can’t suit the requirements of every role.
What kept you going?
I had no other option. What kept me going was the necessity. I had only two options either keep struggling or suicide. Till date I’ve no plan B, this is what I know to do. This is my only plan and I’ve never thought about what else I can do. I don’t think I would have been alive if I had not become an actress.
How did you manage to survive in a city like Mumbai without money or financial support?
There have been so many times when I’ve slept empty stomach as I did not have money for food. I would travel by bus to my shoot locations as I did not have money for taxi or auto rickshaw. When I would go for my shoot, I would get down from the bus and walk all the way to the sets. I had also shared rooms with six girls when I was living in PG. I’ve struggled a lot in my career. I am still struggling, I feel. I started my career with Rs 3000 per day. Also, initially, I don’t know why but things were not working in my favour. All the shows I would sign, they would shut down in 3 months time. I don’t think I’ve done shows for more than 3 months and I’ve ended up doing some 10-12 shows.